Make That Change

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Here I am sitting in my room in Chicago.  Gazing through the window at the city streets hearing the wind blow with its loud echoing noise throughout the city.  Almost an erry sound coupling with the bone chilling blows of the wind forcing me to consider how it would be if I were to be homeless in Chicago.  How it would feel to be asleep in the city with nowhere to go and no shelter to hide from the wind that forces itself into every crease and crevice of the city.

I couldn’t imagine being homeless in a city smothered by a blanket of clouds and a community of people who seem to lack the warmth of a smile and kind heartedness towards the poor and those less fortunate then themselves.

In all of my pressing towards equality and neutralizing injustice, I found myself staring back at myself in disgust of my own behavior and lack of compassion.  Had I become cold as the city streets?  I had to ask myself, had I become the same contributor to an injustice which I detest?

I’ll let you be the judge…

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“How would you like your steak prepared?” asked my server as she jotted down my request while I sat laughing and joking at the center round table with my family and friends at Michael Jordan’s Steakhouse in Chicago.  I was so excited to be in this environment where it was warmer then the cold windy weather outside and nicer than the streets of the southside where I spent the day before.

What a delightful moment I thought to myself, as the server brought out appetizers to the table followed by steaks for everyone in our party along with side dishes served “family style” for everyone to share.  At this present moment life felt blissful.  What more could anyone ask for…. friends, family, food and laughter.  That’s life I thought sitting in my chair eating as much as I could stomach.  It had been awhile since I had been able to take part in the luxurious lifestlye of the rich and famous.

Unable to finish my meal and filled to the point of extreme satisfaction I smiled at my homegirl, as our waitress left to box up our leftovers to go, and said “this is the life right here!!” She smiled back and said “I know right… this is the life I prayed for, the lifestyle I know that I am destined to live.”  “WON’T HE DO IT”

I said, agreeing wholeheartedly with her thought process.  Knowing that I too had been praying to God for a nice steak in a fine dining establishment.  Not only did the Lord answer my prayer, but someone else was kind enough to pick up the bill.  “Come through Jesus!!” I thought, licking the spoon as I finished off my last bite of the infamous 23 layer signature Micheal Jordan chocolate cake with fresh berries and whipped cream on the side.

Laughing and joking headed towards the front door of the restaurant, I was hit with a rude awakening as the wind from outside slapped me hard in the face.  OMG!!! I screamed from the cold that had jumped on my back just that quick.  “No indeed” I said running back into the restaurant.  “I’ll just wait inside for the car to arrive” I said to my family.  After a couple of minutes had passed my cousin peeped his head through the door and said “the car is almost here.”  Reluctantly I walked outside dreading to have to wait another second in the harsh wind of Chicago.

As I stood there freezing trying to cover every piece of my being with some type of shield from the cold, I heard a still small voice saying “give that man your leftovers.”  “Lies” I said to myself, I have plans to punish this food later.  So instead of listening to the still small voice, I decided to ignore the state of the homeless man that was walking by who I was instructed to give the food to.  So caught up in my own needs and concerns I ignored the problem of someone else who was in a much worse condition.

As the man walked off into the cold windy night instantly I felt ashamed.  Instantly I gasped to myself realizing what crime I had committed.  Did I just selfishly ignore the burden of someone else’s struggle?

Another black person, my brother, my own heritage I turned a blind eye to, only thinking of myself.  Here I was given a free meal by the Lord that could have easily filled another, causing a two fold blessing, yet I opted out.  All I could think about was what if that was me in the other shoes.

It was me, I had been in his shoes before so how could I now knowingly do to another what I would have never wanted someone to do to me.  I could’ve shared my same happiness and smile with someone else the same way it was just shared with me.  “Lord forgive me” I said.  Pleading with God to not punish me for my insubordination.

What do I do now?  How do I correct my behavior….

I know now what I must do… It’s gonna feel real good, gonna make a difference.  Gonna make it right.  

As I turned my collar up on my favorite coat this wind is blowing my mind.  I see the kids in the street without enough to eat.  Who am I?? Pretending not to see their need of so much disregard, a broken bottle top and a one man’s soul.  They follow each other on the wind ya know cuz they got nowhere to go.

I’ve been a victim of a selfish kind of love it’s time that I realize.. That there are some with no home, not a nickel to loan. Could it be??? Really Me??? Pretending that they’re not alone?

They follow each other on the wind ya know cuz they got nowhere to go that’s why I want you to know….

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God will always provide all of my needs according to his riches and glory.  Therefore there is no reason for me to be selfish and not share, nor worry where my next meal will come from.  Because the God I serve will always provide for me.  Now it’s my turn to take my blessings and share them with others.  I am blessed to BE a blessing.  Nothing more Nothing less.  That’s why I’m starting with me!!  I’m gonna make a change, I’m gonna make a difference, I’m gonna make it right!!!

Self Affirmation: MAKE THAT CHANGE

RIP MICHAEL JACKSON

 

Love & Light,

Ms Yvonne

 

 

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